April 20, 2024

WAAAGH

The Ork adjusted the frames of the archaic piece of glass lenses under the hood of his black cloak as he led the small squadron of Kommandos into the forest before the advance of the mob. Gimzod da Mad had consulted with( Warboss Gutzmangul, and it had been agreed (as it was the ‘bosses idea,’ after all) that the madboy and another Ork, Needle, would advance before the main front of the WAAAGH!, checking for gubbinz and gitz. What had surprised all of them was that the human, Meta, had opted to come along.
“I’ll go with them boss,” she said. “Someone has to make sure they don’t kill themselves.”
The Orkz looked to each other, a sort of confused look crossing their faces. But the Boss approved of the notion, and the human found herself on a preliminary scan with the Ork scouts.
And the first thing they found was a very unlucky git.
The Madboy adjusted a Seein’ Scope from his bag, and placed it to his eye. “Sumfin’s up ahead,” he said, a smile crossing his toothy maw. He placed the device back into the pouch in his belt. “‘S go see wot we’ze got, boyz.”
They advanced, and came upon a skeleton, trapped within a net wrapped tightly around the tree. The only hint to the cause of this fate was a crude sign nailed through the man. The sign only read: “Cheater.”
“Les’ look fer sumfing intrestin’, eh?”
The skeleton didn’t seem to have anything special about it. Needle and Gimzod canvassed the area for traps, to avoid the same fate as the dumb git who got himself caught in such a predicament, but found nothing. Meta had closed her eyes: A strange thing at first for the Orkz, but they had learned it meant she was “opennin’ ‘er moind to da Wyrd,” or something like that.
She opened her eyes. “There’s some magic, but mostly residual.”
Gimzod looked to Needle, and the two of them smiled. Dead corpses meant loot, or at least something interesting ahead. The Kommandos nodded, and the mad-boy gave words to the unspoken understanding between them.
“Well, den… Les’ go take a look. Take to da treez.”
The group ran full speed into the forest, eyes scanning the surrounding area for any hint of something interesting. They advanced, for what seemed like a while. Gimzod had almost given up, deeming the endeavor a waste of time, before he heard the words he’d been waiting to hear. It was Meta first, then Needle.
“Hey… Hey, I found something!”
“Oi, yeah? ‘S GO!”
The Kommandos broke through the trees in formation behind Meta, and ran full tilt towards a small device in the distance, attached to a tree. About twenty feet from the device, Gimzod stopped the advance with the one raised hand. He began to advance carefully to the box, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious, while Meta entered her meditative state.
“Nuffin’ so far,” he said, bringing Needle up to bear. The stabby ork and the madboy began looking over the box, as Meta once again opened her eyes.
“Nothing out of the ordinary that I can sense. Should be safe unless you find… something else…” she said, as her sentence trailed off. Gimzod’s focus was completely on the box, but Needle turned to the human, then turned to look at what the human saw.
“Oi… Gimzod…” the Ork said, the raspy baritone of his voice barely more audible than a whisper. “We’ze gotz company.”
Gimzod glanced up, and in the distance spotted an individual, female, armed with a bow and a sword, standing there. Watching… Almost as if they were waiting.
The orkz and the human were silent, until Meta spoke up. “Friend or foe?”
There was no response.
The party looked to each other. Gimzod looked to spots around the tree. “Keep an’ oye on ‘im, boyz…” he said. His attention shifted back to the device on the tree, and he smiled. “Let me take care o’ dis…”
The box was a small device. At first glance, Gimzod had discerned that it was a lock-box of some sort, with visible wooden pegs that acted as… a code to open the mechanisms inside. Upon the box was a sigil that the Ork didn’t recognize, but curled and twisted in a variety of angles. He put a rugged hand to his gob and rubbed. The pegs had an assortment of numbers on it… there would be a code, he knew, but he wouldn’t need it. He was a smart boy, after all. He began his work.
“Friend. Or. Foe?” the mage cried out. Gimzod looked up from his work, the first couple buttons lining into place, from what he could tell by the tension of the lid on the box. The figure in the distance did not respond, but moved up a bit closer to the group.
“… Oi, Gimzod, we’ze bettah move,” Needle said.
“Oi’ze got dis, Needle,” the Madboy responded, playing around with the device, getting a feel for the general nature of the device.
The others sounded tense. “We’ze gotta go, Madboy.”
His voice broke the silence of the surrounding area, and spittle flew from his mouth. “ZOG IT, OI’ZE GOT DIS!” He said, as he pushed one of the buttons on the top. The top of the box became loose, and indicated at least that was open. He smiled. Clever. A series of numbers… he committed them to memory, to see if he could figure out the clue later.
The figure in the distance began to advance, slowly but surely, but Gimzod’s hands were deft. He pressed the other buttons into the device to test and see how the bottom responded to his actions, slowly discerning how the inner mechanisms worked. Two of the buttons down.
A bow was in sight, close enough that Gimzod would have normally began to worry. Normally… but he was a smart boy, and this was his forte. Three buttons correct…
“We’ze gotz ta go! Now!” Needle yelled at the the Mad Boy. “Move, Gimzod!”
“I’m outta here,” he could hear Meta say. Leaves crunched behind him, and he knew that the human began to escape. He growled under his breath, and pressed in the last two buttons…
The bottom of the lid became loose… And the box opened. Within, a small red booklet sealed with wax lay against the other side. Gimzod’s toothy grin became wider with pride. He glanced inside the box. A pin system, just as he thought, to catch a series of five pegs on each side. He’d remember this if another device appeared.
He looked up, and saw that the figure was still advancing. That Needle was looking at him, a confused look on his face. Even Meta had paused, hearing the final latch release on the device.
“You… Opened i-”
“No toime!” The Madboy picked up his snikka, and re-adjusted his goggles. He looked back the way they had come, and spotted what looked to be large tracks. Very large tracks. He recognized them… They were the Warboss’s.
“Fall in, boyz!” He bellowed. “We’ze gotz sumfin’ for da boss! LEG IT!”
The others smiled, either with pride at the shared the success of the endeavor under pressure, or because they knew deep down the Boss would reward the squad greatly for what they found.
The Kommandos left no trace of their presence as they legged it. All that was left was an open box, and the disappointing lack of treasure.